domingo, 28 de março de 2010

... While On A Bus

... I got this need to write something. Started my PC, web access and here I am, in the middle of nowhere connected to the world.

After a couple of scratches nothing's coming out. I simply deleted them. Nothing's coming but a not as happy like the other day. Still, I'm fine... I guess.

... don't measure a thing's greatness by the time it last but for the intensity you remember it after it's gone.

Why is there such a word as saudade?

quinta-feira, 25 de março de 2010

Today...

... I'm so very happy.

segunda-feira, 22 de março de 2010

Fade To Black

i have lost the will to live
simply nothing more to give
there is nothing more for me
need the end to set me free


One of 'tallica boys best song ever. Feels good to play it loud and sing along with James with eyes shut, as if I was standing on stage right next to him.

I really really need to go to a live gig really soon.

domingo, 21 de março de 2010

Have You Ever

have you ever felt like there was more
like someone else was keeping score
and what could make you whole was simply out of reach
well i know


Scream.

Scream until your tongue hurts, until you feel the blood begin to boil in your veins. Nevermind those who stare at you. Kick, punch, scream more... relieve the anger within you.

Destroy.

... and finally, cry on the shoulder of your best friend.

sábado, 20 de março de 2010

The Pot

Yesterday I got another piercing.

Quick blind judgements without fundament soon arose. Why is it that piercings and tattoos have this impact on people? Do they make me an even worse person? Do they revel my essence, who I am?!

I'm grownup enough to have will of my own. This is what I want, mom knows it. Why does she still act like a child and do scenes like these?! Guess even in my fifties she'll still have tantrum reactions those choices she dislike. For how long will she keep the mad face this time?

I still love you though.

who are you to wave your finger?
so full of it
eye balls deep in muddy waters
fuckin' hypocrite

quinta-feira, 18 de março de 2010

Sober

there's a shadow just behind me
shrouding every step i take
making every promise empty
pointing every finger at me


It's funny how things are much clearer from a few days to date...

The other day I read a phrase (a question actually) on the back-cover of a book that left me thinking: is it possible to one lose himself in the search of what one think he desires? Things shall not be pushed, specially those regarding affection.

I was over the edge and I pushed myself forward even more. Instead of healing the hurt, and even knowing what the denouement would be, I tried to find the solution to my sickness where it couldn't be found.

Yes, I gave it up.

Not her but my self imposed obligation of "liking her". At least I feel much lighter and somewhat good with myself, as if a finger pointing shadow has stopped shrouding me.

Even though, I guess the book he proposed me a few months ago would still be usefull... but I ain't got the time to read it. 

sábado, 13 de março de 2010

Aesthetics

Don't judge people by their look.

Sometimes, those who introduce themselves as wonderful peoples aren't; but the opposite is also true, even though not as usual as desirable.

Been hanging around with unworthy people. People who introduced something they're not... people who left nothing but diffused memories, regret and disappointment.



Once in a while, the answer is literally around the corner. 

There ain't a music to follow today's entry. Can't remember one that might fit the profile. 

quarta-feira, 10 de março de 2010

And Now, The Answer

... gosto-te, mas não assim. Não vales tanto.

Diz-se puta só, ladrão só... ou também antes só que mal acompanhado.

Fartei.

terça-feira, 9 de março de 2010

Psycho Holiday

What would you do if you had the ability to turn back the time?

... as for me, I never liked video-games and a time machine would turn my life into one. I rather commit mistakes.

empty and sweating 

head lying in your hands 
shaking in the corner 
done too much alcohol
gotta get away from it all 
'cause it feels my blood is freezing 
my self insanity has taken its toll 
frustration has taken its control

domingo, 7 de março de 2010

Wherever I May Roam

I got this unbearable desire to run away, leave everything behind, move to a foreign country and start a new life from scratch, far from all those and everything I know.

This, I though, would probably be the answer to most of my problems... it would act like the reset button I'm looking for so many years.

But I was told that, even running away, the problems shall follow. My inner problems are inherent to me and will accompany me wherever I may roam. The stupidest thing is... I knew it already, but I didn't want to be aware of, as if it was my best kept secret. Having someone else knowing it... teared it apart and kind of left me adrift.

Now what?!

and the road becomes my bride
i have stripped of all but pride
so in her i do confide
and she keeps me satisfied
gives me all i need

quarta-feira, 3 de março de 2010

Well, I Got a Question

... gozo, gozo, mas era logo a primeira pergunta que fazia.

Também te gosto pá!

terça-feira, 2 de março de 2010

A Desfolhada

... hilariante o concurso da Eurovisão.

Pergunto-me onde têm a cabeça para levar a concurso gentinha sem voz com poemas que foram de certeza escritos numa cabine de uma qualquer casa-de-banho pública. Preocupação com vestidos ostentosos e em coreografias estúpidas...

Cantem! Tenham vergonha caramba!

Oh! meu Carlos Mendes!
Oh! Lenita Gentil, António Calvário e Paulo de Carvalho!
Oh! grande Carlos Paião e Fernando Tordo!

Ah!! inigualável Simone!

é milho-rei
milho vermelho
cravo de carne
bago de amor
filho de um rei
que sendo velho
volta a nascer
quando há calor


Volta Ary dos Santos!

segunda-feira, 1 de março de 2010

Tightrope

Even though I pretend to hate you;
Even though I try not to pay you any attention;
Even though I feel hurt and disappointed;
Even though I try to think with my head and not with my heart...

... I still like you.

there is a thin line between what is good and what is evil
and, i will tip-toe down that line but i will feel unstable
my life is a circus and i am trippin' down that tightrope
well there is nothin' to save me now
so i will not look down

It's No Good

Como eu gosto de chegar ao trabalho com os primeiros sinais de luz a mostrarem-se por detrás da serra. Adoro sair do autocarro e sentir o ar fresco na cara enquanto oiço a passarada toda atarefada nas árvores a piar desenfreadamente.

Ajuda-me a ficar ainda mais bem-disposto (não esquecer o chocapic!) e era capaz de ficar a contemplar a maravilha que é a aurora todos os dias. 

Ah! como são bons os dias com cheiro a Primavera!

Don't say you're happy
Out there without me
I know you can't be
'cause it's no good